Hey! This morning I want to share with you this fine line between pushing through or forcing your dreams versus persevering and seeing them through to completion.
You know, as successful entrepreneurs and coaches, as we start our business, this is a line that we ride frequently. A lot of people don’t talk about this. They talk about the end goal, the destination, the dream, the feel-good, but struggle, and setback, and failure – like that is a real thing that we have to deal with and that we experience maybe daily. At least on a regular basis. I know I do in my business. Even after 14, 15, 16 years having my own business it’s still something that happens. And I bet you face it too, so I want to talk about it quickly today to equip you to navigate those frustrations and those struggles that you encounter. Because whenever we set out for a new goal, like starting your own business, or deciding that you set a new revenue goal for your business to take it to the next level, it can be anything, whether it’s your business or not. As soon as we set that goal or state that desire we have stepped out of our comfort zone and we’re evolving into the next iteration of ourself. Rupture must happen, things must fall apart, so that they can be remade again in new ways, so that that goal, that dream, that desire can be a reality. Otherwise it would already exist in your life.
Now rupture doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can be a good thing. Sometimes it’s a bad thing, but it can come in many forms. And what I want to share with you is two mindsets that I really noticed. Tthere seems to be two different worlds that people fall in when stepping out of their comfort zone in pursuing their dreams. This might be true for you, this might be true for your clients. I mean, we’re coaches, right? We’re holding space and helping our clients navigate to reaching their destination and their goals. So your clients might be experiencing this too. But there’s really two mindsets: one approaches the struggle and the setbacks and the failures and the mistakes that happen, and they approach it with this sense of discouragement. Everything seems wrong, nothing seems to be growing right. It’s things are happening to them; it kind of begins to sound like a victimy a role that they’re playing. The other approach is is this the sensation of embracing it, realizing it that it’s a part of the path, accepting it and leveraging it as rocket fuel on your way.
One we kind of dig our heels in with that discouragement. And we’re like “no!” We go kicking and screaming in the direction of our dreams. The other one we expand ourselves and embrace to take the opportunity to learn and grow from those mistakes, from those setbacks, from those struggles. We find new traits in ourself that we didn’t know we were capable of. And those are the very things needed for the dream and the desire and the goal to become a reality.
One of my good friends – we’re in a mastermind together – Victoria, she has this saying called “risk forward”. You can find it on TED talk – it’s an amazing concept. But it’s this idea of risking forward. Another friend of mine, Shelley – she’s also in that same mastermind. We were talking one time and somebody asked her “what’s the question you wish people asked you more?” And she said “I wish they asked me what risk should I take next.” And I loved that perspective! Like that is that perspective of embracing what’s coming up for you, that rupture, those struggles, those setbacks of the funkiness, the messiness of being on your path.
You know, what it really comes down to is expectation. A lot of entrepreneurs, when they first start out, they have this nice, neat little perspective of what their business is going to look like. It’s kind of like this, right? The expectation going in is this straight clean line path; I’m going to start here and up here. Nice and neat. I’m done! The reality is that it usually looks like this, right? You can maybe relate to that. So that’s the reality, and a lot of it comes down to expectation. What’s your expectation going in? Make sure your expectation is in alignment with reality, and that will help you to embrace your journey, to embrace the struggles, to embrace the setbacks, the mistakes, so that you keep learning, so that you keep growing, so that you keep moving forward, one step at a time.
And that’s really the difference between pushing through and forcing. Is that you try to make something happen when it’s not quite ready. Versus persevering, when you allow yourself to meander and saunter and move through that wiggly, funky, messy path, embracing it along the way; discovering your new strengths that you didn’t know you had. So the next time you bump into a challenge or you bump into a setback or a failure – things seem like they’re falling apart all of a sudden – take a deep breath, get grounded in yourself. And it’s important to really know how does that show up in your body, in your mind, in your energy, and your being, so that you can navigate through it. And make sure you give yourself time to get quiet so you can hear yourself, to know the next best step for you.
Good luck on your journey! I’m here to support you. Let me know stories where you’ve had setbacks, where you’ve had rupture, and how you persevered instead of pushing through. It’s a much funner journey that way, even though it’s still messy. Comment below! I can’t wait to hear your journey!