Having a mantra in your business can really alter things pretty quickly when you bump into frustrations or stuck spots – like changing your mind, like that will change everything. I know it sounds a little out there, and, maybe woo woo. So many people, when I talk to them, they’re like – “I don’t have time that I need to focus on this.” “I need to dive into this project you need to get into that.” And when you can stop for a moment and get your mind aligned make all the difference in the world with your energy, your emotions, your creativity, your inspiration how you work on those projects will be impacted.
So I want to share with you one of my favorite mantras – a universal truth that when I learned about this, gosh, about eight or nine years ago, when somebody shared this with me, it truly is a go-to mantra that I use all of the time. Whether it’s with clients or prospects presentations, when I’m on stage speaking, whether I’m teaching or creating content, it doesn’t matter. I use it in all aspects of my business, and, even in my family, and my life and it goes like this: “Agreement is total control.” When you know that, when you can remember that, when you can recite that to yourself, agreement is total control, nothing can impact you. Nothing can affect you. You are no longer the victim of anything. And you immediately turn your energy around, and, take control and responsibility of everything in front of you.
Now you can do something about it. Agreement is total control. So, what does that look like? And there’s three things that I want to share with you. I want to give you a scenario. So a lot of times I’m talking with new coaches. And they’re just in those stages of building their lists, and, starting to do those sample sessions, and, having those enrollment conversations to get clients, right? A lot of times I hear somebody will say, “Well, I’m in this sample session and I want to be professional, but you know, I’m super nervous. I don’t really know what I’m doing just yet. This is all brand new for me, and I’m scared I’m gonna screw it up.” In that moment, I asked them to remember: agreement is in total control. And if I’m sitting in that sample session, and, I’m nervous that my nerves are going to impact how impactful this conversation can be with that prospect, the first thing you can do is reach for transparency. Give yourself permission and be transparent. Remember, we’re not confusing perfectionism with professionalism. Being professional, you can still be transparent. And sitting in that sample session, I would say something to the effect of “Hey prospect Suzy, you know, I just want you to know that this conversation is so important because I can I know it’s gonna have a profound impact on your life. I also want you to know that I’m nervous. I’m new at this and I know you know that and I am nervous, and I don’t want my nerves to get in the way of making sure we have a great conversation for you and the results you’re looking for, so I just I wanted to put that out there so you knew.” And in that moment when you become transparent, and, you give yourself permission, you also give the other person permission. Because they’re probably nervous as well. And it’s like “Oh, now we can both breathe. Now we can move through this together.” Without knowing exactly how it’s going to be or perfect. So, whether it’s a sample session or any kind of tricky conversation you’re having with, maybe your kids, or a boss, or a co-worker, or a team member, whoever it is, or yourself, if you own your own boss in your business, transparency and giving yourself permission, leads to really owning that spot of agreement is total control.
The other thing that you can do is you can use yourself as an example, and be playful. Again, we’re not confusing perfectionism with professionalism, but when we can say agreement is control – let me let you another example. So, I was talking with this client, and she was attempting to do something in her business. The first few times she did it, it didn’t quite go like she thought. Things were a little awkward. There were a couple of mistakes that were made. That was at the end of the world? No. Did she do it? Yes. Right done is better than perfect, right? So, she was really nervous. She’s like: “Well that’s gonna make me look bad.” And so, I had a remember agreement as total control. Now, her clients are also in a situation where things get really, they get kind of crazy. Things usually don’t go the way that they’re planned. And when we took this second step to say: “Use yourself as an example.” She was able to create some marketing messages and some content to put out there to her clients to say, “hey clients, hey prospects, have you ever been in a situation where you feel like nothing’s going the way it should you? You had great intentions, and you made some mistakes, and, now you’re beating yourself up? Well, guess what? I just went through that!” I tried this project in my business. I made some mistakes, but guess what, I did it. I’m further along and now I’m getting results. And I want that for you, too. So, now she can use herself as an example for living exactly what she knows her clients are going through. Now, she’s more relatable to her prospects well that she’s talking to and to her audience. Now, there’s more compassion, both that she has for her prospects, because now, she’s living it and she knows what they’re going through. But her prospects, when they see her, it’s authentic! Her message is authentic, and there’s a deeper connection that’s made. So, when you can use yourself as an example, be playful. Because you remember, agreement is total control. Now, you can have fun. You don’t have to confuse perfectionism with professionalism. You can still be professional. You can make mistakes, and, you can leverage that.
The third thing that I want to share with you is a question to ask yourself the next time you get frustrated, or, you think something’s wrong, or it’s not going right, or, you’re whatever it is it didn’t work out for you. Ask yourself this question: If I find myself right in this moment, what would that look like? What would I do? What would I say? How would I be if I found find myself right in this moment? In the midst of all the frustrations, what would that mean? So, in that example with the sample session, or with my client that was doing a few things in her business for a project, making some mistakes, her clients and prospects were seeing these mistakes in real time. And then she owned up to her story. If I find myself right for making these mistakes now, I can start thinking the thought of: “oh, my clients can actually relate to because they do the same thing. They have good intentions, but make mistakes. And it doesn’t go the way they planned. Now I can create a marketing message that’s authentic!” So, when I’ve asked myself how can I find myself right in this moment, you change the way you see it. Instead of finding yourself wrong, because my client was like: “oh my gosh, I’m making this mistakes! My marketing is ruined! My prospects won’t listen. I’ll never get any clients…” that’s because she was finding herself wrong. But the moment she found herself right, agreement is total control. Nothing can hurt her now. She can leverage her situation.
So, where is a spot in your life? I want you to comment below. Is it in your business? Is it in your marketing? Is it with your prospects? Maybe it’s with your kids, maybe it’s a boss, a family member, a co-worker. Whatever it is, I’d love for you to comment below. What’s a situation that’s frustrating, you where you’re finding yourself wrong, everything’s wrong, it’s not a good the thing, the situation is bad. Comment below and I’d love to play with you in the comments and thread below about how we can turn that around so you can find yourself right and move into that mantra: agreement is total control. I can’t wait to play with you and the thread below.