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Hey, good morning!

You know, a lot of times when I talk with startup coaches or startup business owners of any type, one of the things that I hear a lot is: “I need more confidence.” “I’ve got to put myself out there, be seen be heard, and, I I just need more confidence because it makes me so nervous.” I hear a lot of variations of that. And it’s interesting when we think about confidence, when I hear people talking about they need more confidence, what that’s telling me is that – when they’re presenting whether you’re doing a facebook live, whether you’re doing a 60-second commercial at a networking event, whether you’re on stage doing a presentation, wherever you’re speaking, if you are super nervous, and, you’re talking about needing more confidence, what that tells me is that you’re putting all the attention on you. How am I gonna sound? Am I gonna get it right? Will I screw this up? Will they like what I have to say? It’s all about you, and, your nerves go through the roof. When we can turn it around and make it about connection, instead, who you’re serving, who you’re helping. Now, your nerves begin to dissipate not all the way, but they do begin to dissipate a little bit. So, focus instead on when you’re standing there, talking to somebody, who is it that you’re going to be helping. Because I know you. I know you love to help and be of service to people, right? So, put your attention on connection, not confidence but connection is where you want your emphasis and your attention to be. Now, you don’t want your nerves to go away completely.

You know, growing up I was a flute player, took private lessons within the orchestra and the symphony, and, all of that. In my private lessons, I was talking with one of my my private instructors one time,
and I said I’ve got to stop being super nervous on stage. Now, she helped me really master my skill, so that I knew what I was doing, and that helped a little bit. Ultimately, what she told me was, you don’t want your nerves to go away completely, because what that tells
me is if you’re not nervous. When you get on stage to do your performance, then you’re either taking it for granted or you don’t care anymore. The nerves fight nerves, not out of control nerves but slight nerves are an indicator to make sure you’re prepared, to make sure you’re passionate, and, plugged in to what really matters, and, that your heart, and, your entire being is showing up. So, we want to be a little bit nervous to keep us on our game. When you can put your attention on the connection, who you’re serving, how you’re helping them, how they’ll benefit because of what you’re sharing, now you can be of service to people!

So, when you’re making that presentation, when you’re doing that Facebook live, when you’re on stage, imagine that one person or two or three people. Have their faces in your mind, know them by name, speak to them, make it personal. It’ll make all the difference in the world.

I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you. Comment below and let me know what it’s like when you put your attention on connection rather than needing more confidence.